Sunday, April 10, 2011

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Tuesday, November 16, 2010

persistencia-da-memoria 2


“But this I say, brethren, the time is shortened, that henceforth both those that have wives may be as though they had none;and those that weep, as though they wept not; and those that rejoice, as though they rejoiced not; and those that buy, as though they possessed not;and those that use the world, as not using it to the full: for the fashion of this world passeth away.” ( 1 co. 7:29-31)

Friday, August 27, 2010

In the Horizon from East to West amid vapor of the hottest weather, I note the flutter line, which dance with the wind, be changed by a lot spot that looks more and more a cloud of locusts coming and dragging from the horizon.

Despite increasingly clear, I can´t describe what it is. The spot that now looks something bigger, don´t have any organization like we can see in an overflow of buffalos or like a drop in rain on us. They doesn´t seem are going through the same way, the same direction, or are looking for the same target, however is strange that all seems increasingly closer.

Even though don´t understand, I begin fell what happened there. In a fast moves seems to be afraid, scare, in moves that like a paper plane in the wind, it´s easy see that exists bewilderment , and I note that some there undesirable and lived forms is blinded in fact. In the way I fell that there exist also anguish, pain, cry, sadness, hungry, angry, all the feeling that can fell in somebody without a way or target for your life, from the easiest to the most obscure. Instinctual, or better without thinking about, I run to meet them, still I don´t knoe what they are or how many they are, I know that I can´t let they alone, not on this hot sun. I must shelter them.

As I approach, conclude that this beings was coming in fact, still they never moved straight, in theirs freak trajectories their ever are more and more close. I can´t discover what they yet, I think because I´m running so fast, but I don´t know why, they looks much familiar. But I don´t want stay here thinks about I want just shelter, and when finally catch and hug one I can see and feel that this was exactly what it need. I must try hug all of them.

Was hard, no one stops to me, I need run, jump, and whirl, to be able to comfort and care them. Still in first moment I got hug a god number, the other don´t seems be approaching anymore. When I try follow and go along with one, I ended up losing the other one that I was got. Anguish born inside me, follow by frustration, the Sun is letting me tired, but can´t giving up.

After all sweat was drained, I saw, more than ever, how familiar these beings are. I´m so tired to think what in fact they are, but still are a real distinction, they are like me a lot: Don´t going through any way, don´t looks going to any place, and in fact don´t have a target. Letdown is all that I can look for. Move on regardless, Die it´s all can I do.

I kneel in surrender. Look around and see terrible creatures amid the beings, introducing scare, frenzy, and death. The residual will and sense of duty that hardly are inside me, go away before was happening. And now frustration, failure, and empty is all I has inside me. Oh how I would like be eaten by this beasts, but they didn´t approach!

When I punch the ground, I fell something solid. And when try see and understand what is, the tears appear and rollout of my face like a waterfall. It´s the most beautiful piece of old wood. Still it´s unclean and dusty I didn´t and can´t forget what is this. My staff! The Lord of the field gives it to me! The best person I ever know! The loveliest, and the most affectionate. He fined grace in me, I´ll never forget! And forever will love you. How dream with you comfort me!

Cleaned by the renew bath, I wake up, and like the Lord of the field taught me in the past, I look for the beast, that now I know that are wolfs, I swash my staff, and they run away. I pay attention for the beings and have the most beautiful glimpse of prettiest creatures, adorned by a gold mantle, white like a snow, and pearl eyes. The favorite creatures of the Lord of the Field: His sheep!

Instantly the sheep that was lost in futilities and surrounded by the fear come to me. And listen, and agree, the easy knocks of me staff. And enjoy the nicest tour, we arrive in the house of the one who found grace in me. I recline my head in his lap, and listen his word, as soon as I feel that I ready for the others sheep.

I discovery, the better way to conquest helpless sheep is build stables. You don´t need touch in staff in this cases, they simply comes. To the tired sheep, ohw !!!, hay! They snuggle, and roll, like be in home! While to the painful, I build dams, what is better for pain than gymnastics in the water?! And in the end, all of them come to entrust in my staff.

Now I can see the unusual form of my staff, it´s a cross!

Glory to God, because do His biggest sacrifice the biggest love expression even done! That attract us, comfort, molding, and make us so happy! I love you! Jesus! (Hugo Soares)

For everybody who decided induce opinion, be light, and leaders. God ever will give to us His sheep. And ever will be tempted to be intimidated or pressure. The easiest way always will be let be affected, but never will be the best, it´s never easy to see. Still you don´t do awesome things, the cross, ever will do the distinction! So listen Him and let be filled. Take the cross, and conquest!

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Wednesday, August 4, 2010

The River

It´s easy define the people. I see workmen, leaders, unafraid men, big children, losers, lazy people, and so many things that can see and talk about somebody. But is so difficult define anything about ourselves. Maybe because the day has 24 hours, and it is enough time to be all of that. Or just is easier look for something to do than look for something to be.

Our untreated soul in a conflict with our conscious generated by the Spirit, take us into a small turbulence, where born the necessity to find peace, rest, and enjoyment. The easy way to find this is look around, take a note, define, and do equal. By the way the marketing teach that the success can be copied and applied. And the Best for suppress the conscious is when we get in a great project that started a long time ago and now is a great project, because you will have return for all the investment that was done. In fact inside this way you can find enjoyment, rest, and peace, but unfortunately will pass. It´s like build a cistern with fissures in the walls on the side of a fast river, is impossible stop the river to build a dike, so you must fill the cistern yourselves. But the water is so fresh that look all the work worth. But the cistern will dry, you will need refill, and over time the water will again and again, and the fresh water won´t look a award anymore, and without disposal the enjoyment will be changed by the tiredness, and not so long the grudge appears, and with little water the walls of the cistern start broke their selves, and could kill somebody inside.

The other way is more difficult, just because don´t have any map about it. Nobody entered inside and walked across it with the same formula. But exist one sure about this way, that it is like the river, and always be refill by the fountain. No more try does something to suppress the conscious, but just be and the conscious comfort us.

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Wednesday, March 3, 2010

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Wednesday, June 17, 2009

“IÂ’m waiting here for my life to change,
When the waters stir you can rearrange me.
Just one touch is all I need,
IÂ’ve nothing much but the wounds I feel,
IÂ’m looking for the hand of the miracle man.

Holy, you are holy,
Who was and is and is to come.
Holy, you are holy, Savior, Healer,
IÂ’m standing at the feet of the miracle maker.”

                            (part of the “ Miracle Maker” – Delirious?)

My heart is tight… I need your touch, touch of holiness, touch of cure. I can´t leave out my feeling, the soul is not to be crucified… however I can´t work with base at my feelings, can´t leave myself to the emotions. Oh Lord! Sometimes that is so confused, so difficult… how many times I hurt somebody? Or suffocated?... I don´t have anything unless the wounds I feel, no conquest, no glory, no lordliness. I can only be standing at your feet Lord, crying for your touch. I not trust in me to justify myself anymore, so I wouldn’t do this… my place is not upstanding face to face you, and so standing at your feet.

I love you Jesus! My Lord! Above everything!

I can´t continue doing this.

I trust You to calm the storm in my life, and raise me again!!!!


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Sunday, June 7, 2009

I don´t know how many time or how many cases, I employed my meaning as it were absolute truth, and not only in situations of my life as well as the lives of others. When someone asked me an advice or simply opened your heart, I ordered him, and no direct him to look for the solution, basing me in thoughts that were in agreement just with my vision, and so many times that´s broken principle and no conform to desire of God.

Why it? What make me taking decisions (include decisions in other lives) basing me in my meaning, my emotions, my thoughts. Maybe I am a super christian, and I don´t need pray a lot cause the all of desires of God are in me, or judged that “john” is unable to learn with God. In fact, my mind don´t work so, but I operate as if it were so. I conclude that this occurs because everyone has something within himself, a justice sense, or better, a strong injustice sense, which is similar to ideas that we have without asking why. Notwithstanding I don´t use my mind or my emotions to take decisions today, I figured that I acted based in this “justice” sense. Maybe this is the cause why the active persons were so dictators sometimes (there want to talk at any cost, but… why?), and why the calm persons feel wronged more easily (this is injustice practice too!).

The truth is that nobody is free from mistakes (sin), until the last moment everybody (include me) will subject to this corrupt human nature. So we mustn’t let to think, but after we prove our thoughts we must use the faith to take a decision. No forget:

Faith to think

Reason to believe

This post isn´t a public confession only, it´s a warning to us. We have still much dirt, and any natural decision could be remnant of that old nature. We must base in principles to do (reason to believe), decide on faith (faith to think), aware that

"Every Christian cause an impression in one way or another, through their conduct. Every step you make a chord vibrating throughout eternity. Every step you touch in keys which sounds will reverberate throughout the mountains and valleys in the sky and all the dark caves and galleries of hell. In all the movements you are exerting influences that will affect the interests of eternal souls around ... "(Watchmann nee)

and Lord justice is love, love that give a grace (through Jesus sacrifice) so that we act for free!

God bless you!

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